i am afraid

well, i have to work in the morning and yet i am sitting at the computer refusing to go to bed. why, you ask? i'll tell you why. story: today i had to wash kate's crib sheets for the third time in 2 days as a result of forgetting to put bottoms on her before bed and waking up to naked girl with pee sheets. (poop the other day, but that was on vanessa's watch while she babysat for me) anyway, i put her blankets and sheets in a pile by the washer and would wait until the current load was done before washing them. when i picked up one of the sheets in the pile an hour later a roach appeared suddenly and was crawling around on the cute pink blanket. i screamed and threw it down and stood there waiting. waiting for any sudden moves. a few minutes later i ran downstairs to find my trusty raid, got a shoe, and headed back up. i carefully picked up, with two fingers, each sheet ready to attack, but i never saw him. i thought maybe he was still hidden in one of the sheets so i turned the washer to the hot cycle, to kill him a little extra than just warm water. but, after the cycle was done there were no remains. i wasn't convinced i had really killed him. the night went on and later the kids went to bed and i was folding the laundry on my bed and i had a feeling to go check on johnny and make sure the roach wasn't lurking around his room. i walked around his dark room only lit by the hall light and as i walked out there it was!! the nasty roach was crawling across the floor right in front of me! i wanted to get the raid but there wasn't enough time. i had to act fast. i ran in my room, got a shoe, turned on johnny's light and i saw him. whack! whack! it was done. i scooped him up in some toilet paper and threw him in the trash bag. however, how do i know that was the same one from today? was there more? what if i wouldn't have gone to check on johnny? what if he would have crawled on him in the night? i hate, hate roaches. why? why do they exist? the whole day i kept getting the chills and i have itched my head and body about a hundred times. i think i will have to sleep with the light on because roaches like the dark. i'm too afraid to go to bed!

yeah it's shayne!

i am so happy matt picked her. i would marry her.

mother's day

mother's day is tomorrow and i just wanted to write down a few thoughts i had about my mother and being a mother. i am usually the type to buy a "funny card" for every occasion, so those i love don't get a chance to hear how much i truly love and appreciate them. not until i became a mother did i really understand the unconditional love one could have for another person. i didn't understand why my parents would ever worry about me, whether it was dealing with friends in school, grades, jobs, even road trips with my friends. and i didn't understand just how much of a better person having a child makes you want to be. i am very thankful to have had a mother that taught me right from wrong (even though i didn't always make the right decisions), and a mother that has shown her love and support when i needed it most. my mom is always so great about taking charge and doing what needs to be done, so when i felt like i couldn't even put one foot in front of the other, she picked me up and kept me going. my mom is the most beautiful mom in the world. her face just beams every time, which is often, she gets told we look like sisters. and my mom is cool. she knows how to dress cute, smell good, decorate the house beautifully, and still managed to raise 4 kids while working a hard job full time. she doesn't need the credit to validate herself, but she doesn't get enough of it. i hope that one day i will be as successful as her in my marriage, career, spirituality, and motherhood. i love you mom. and i love you johnny and kate for making me feel like the luckiest person alive to have been blessed with the two most wonderful kids ever. i am so blessed to have such beautiful, healthy, good kids. and sometimes i put things in perspective and think, if heavenly father loves us more than we can even comprehend, and i know how much i love my children, it feels really good to know we are loved even more than we'll ever know by our heavenly father.
my mom asked me for a few pictures of the kids for mother's day so i took these in the backyard today and wanted to share. happy mother's day!

the last post

gee, i wonder who wrote that?

Tommy

My husband Tommy is the greatest!

disneyland

on thursday we went to disneyland! it was the kids' second time there, and they did great. we wanted to go during the week so it wasn't so crowded and it paid off. we didn't have to wait long for any rides, which made it easier with four kids there. johnny had a little melt down the second time we tried to go on pirates, so i had to take him out of line and buy him a sucker so he could calm down. the day went by too fast. we can't wait to go back. how cute of tommy and johnny while watching the parade!
johnny fell asleep at the end of the day while he was eating a sucker

first time throwing a penny into a fountain
look at those chubby legs
the boys on dumbo

michael and johnny hand in hand
on the train
johnny was so excited to see mickey mouse. when we got into the room he slowly said "hi mickey" with such a happy tone. when i picked him up to take the picture, he grabbed mickey by the nose and pushed him away. he loved mickey, he just wanted to be a comfortable distance away from him.

angels game

this week we took a quick trip to anaheim with our friends nick and jessica, and the kids. we drove up wednesday afternoon and went to an angels game. the kids did pretty good, besides the occasional touching of the people in front of us. they danced when the music came on, ate hot dogs and cotton candy and they loved the fireworks at the end.