i am afraid

well, i have to work in the morning and yet i am sitting at the computer refusing to go to bed. why, you ask? i'll tell you why. story: today i had to wash kate's crib sheets for the third time in 2 days as a result of forgetting to put bottoms on her before bed and waking up to naked girl with pee sheets. (poop the other day, but that was on vanessa's watch while she babysat for me) anyway, i put her blankets and sheets in a pile by the washer and would wait until the current load was done before washing them. when i picked up one of the sheets in the pile an hour later a roach appeared suddenly and was crawling around on the cute pink blanket. i screamed and threw it down and stood there waiting. waiting for any sudden moves. a few minutes later i ran downstairs to find my trusty raid, got a shoe, and headed back up. i carefully picked up, with two fingers, each sheet ready to attack, but i never saw him. i thought maybe he was still hidden in one of the sheets so i turned the washer to the hot cycle, to kill him a little extra than just warm water. but, after the cycle was done there were no remains. i wasn't convinced i had really killed him. the night went on and later the kids went to bed and i was folding the laundry on my bed and i had a feeling to go check on johnny and make sure the roach wasn't lurking around his room. i walked around his dark room only lit by the hall light and as i walked out there it was!! the nasty roach was crawling across the floor right in front of me! i wanted to get the raid but there wasn't enough time. i had to act fast. i ran in my room, got a shoe, turned on johnny's light and i saw him. whack! whack! it was done. i scooped him up in some toilet paper and threw him in the trash bag. however, how do i know that was the same one from today? was there more? what if i wouldn't have gone to check on johnny? what if he would have crawled on him in the night? i hate, hate roaches. why? why do they exist? the whole day i kept getting the chills and i have itched my head and body about a hundred times. i think i will have to sleep with the light on because roaches like the dark. i'm too afraid to go to bed!